All About The Muffins
by OpalTears
Summary: There's one thing that Lily Evans loves most in the world and that's a good old muffin. So when someone gets in the way of her and her chocolate dream, she'll stop at nothing to find out who the culprit is ... LJ with some RS fun. Long oneshot.


**All About The Muffins**

**By OpalTears**

**A/N: **I haven't written much lately and the stuff I have written so far on here hasn't been too good but I like this storyline and I hope you will too! T for suggested adult themes but there's nothing too bad in here. It's just my take on how Lily and James got together plus there's some Sirius and Remus fun in there too! Thanks! OpalTears xxx

**Disclaimer: **Unbelievably don't own it.

**It's all about the muffins.**

It was a crisp, fresh Autumn morning and the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall was a bright blue with only a few fluffy white clouds dancing across it way above the four House tables.

It seemed like nothing could go wrong. Well, at least it _seemed_ this way. Lily Evans on the other hand knew better. Pulling her shoes on as quickly as she could, the green-eyed girl raced down the stairs and ran through the many corridors, desperate to reach the Hall before …

Too late. The Gryffindor House table was full to the brim and how Lily was going to squeeze in somewhere along that long, oak table was beyond her. Not only was she unable to find somewhere to sit, today was Muffin Day. And she was late for breakfast.

Now, if there was one thing that Lily Evans loved more than anything else in the world it was a good, hearty muffin. She didn't care which flavour the muffin was: blueberry, raspberry, chocolate chip, double chocolate – though she had to admit this was her favourite: - any muffin at any time or any place was Lily Evan's idea of a perfect snack.

Usually on a Muffin Day, Lily was one of the first students to arrive in the Great Hall. Well, you couldn't take a chance and arrive at the same time as everyone else on Muffin Day, could you? What if all the muffins were gone by the time you got there? No, no, Lily couldn't have that. So why on earth was Miss Evans so alarmingly late, on _Muffin _Day of all days? Good question and one with, as Lily puts it, 'an infuriating answer.'

Her so-called 'friends' had stolen her alarm clock after she had gone to sleep last night to see how Lily would react if she was late and wouldn't get her muffin. Well, ha ha ha. Very funny. What a great experiment.

Not.

Glaring angrily at her surroundings, she thankfully spotted a small gap in the throes of Gryffindor students.

"Oh _great, _just flipping fantastic," Lily thought as she realised who would be sitting next to her. This was almost worse than not having a seat at all for this small gap in the throes of the Gryffindor students was right next to the one and only James Potter.

'Oy! Lily! Over 'ere!' shouted the buffoon waving his arms madly at her, his face stuffed with her favourite double chocolate muffin no less, whilst the students around him sniggered at his frantic cries.

Sighing, she reluctantly walked over to the bench. It would be a tight squeeze to fit onto the overcrowded table and therefore that dreaded, ghastly thing: body contact with James Potter.

Lily noted the use of her first name by said buffoon. That was the 22nd time this year; what had happened to 'Evans'? Not that she missed it that much to be honest but for your sworn enemy to be using your first name so familiarly … it was slightly odd.

She almost shuddered as he leant over her – far more than he needed to in Lily's opinion - to reach for a piece of fruit, his muscled arms brushing against her shoulder as she squirmed uncomfortably.

But this came to a close when she noticed the basket before her, glowing with ethereal light – well not quite – and filling Lily's emerald eyes with joy: the muffin basket! And it was right there in front of her!

Ok, so there was only one left but this was no ordinary muffin that was left over. This was Lily's favourite: a double chocolate bun of cake-y goodness!

Gingerly she reached out and snatched it, raising a few people's eyebrows and causing a few smirks to appear on fellow Gryffindors' faces: everyone knew about Lily's muffin obsession. It was her most endearing trait.

It was hers! All hers! Despite a near miss, Lily Evans, Head Girl extraordinaire had a muffin!

'Miss Evans, may I have a quick word?'

Lily jumped and sharply turned around where a curious McGonagall was looking at the flame-haired girl as if she was being ridiculous over a muffin.

'Oh, of course, Professor,' Lily replied, and looking behind at her chocolatey heaven fondly, she stood up from the bench and faced the Transfiguration teacher.

'What is it, Professor?' Lily asked, curious to know why Professor McGonagall had disturbed her during breakfast – and on Muffin Day: - a dangerous move.

'It's one of the first years; they're in a right state outside the Hall and I confess I'm not an expert in the field of coping with crying children.'

'Why are they crying? What's wrong with them?'

'Well,' Professor McGonagall continued, 'As you're so good with the little ones, I was hoping _you_ could find that out for me. At the moment, all I can understand from the boy is that he's lost something.'

Lily frowned. She hated it when people cried, especially the first years. As Head Girl, Lily had made it her job to look out for them and to make sure they settled in ok, so when things went pear-shaped the professors relied on her to comfort the sobbing wrecks.

'Don't worry, Professor, I'll go and sort it out. Is he just outside the Great Hall?'

'Yes,' replied Professor McGonagall, 'and thank you Lily, especially since I've interrupted your breakfast.'

Lily tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. Damn right she had interrupted her breakfast and for some crying kid! Maybe that was a little harsh but when Lily Evans didn't get her muffin …

Lily strode down the Hall and despite longing for her dark, chocolate sponge god on her plate; she was filled with a sense of purpose. This is what she loved about being Head Girl; it was a shame the Head Boy wasn't at all bothered about the welfare of the younger students.

"Quite the contrary," thought Lily, "He'll usually prank them. I wonder if that's why the boy's crying … I'll kill that Potter if he's pranked the poor kid."

She spotted the hysterical child in an alcove off to the right of the Hall, hugging his legs to his chest and crying his eyes out.

She knelt down beside him and the boy looked up, tears streaming down his pale face.

'Hey, what's the matter? What's happened to you?'

The boy shrugged and attempted to wipe his eyes, despite a consistent flow pouring from them at every instant.

'Alright, I know you don't want to tell me but that's ok. I'm just here to help. What's your name?' Lily asked in her best soothing and motherly voice.

The boy looked frightened but at least the tears were coming to a close.

'Pa-Pa-Patrick,' the boy stuttered.

'Ok, Patrick, now come on, dry your eyes. Whatever it is, it can't be _that_ bad. I mean, you haven't lost any legs or arms or toes, have you?'

That made the boy giggle slightly and he wiped his eyes again on his robes, smiling faintly up at the red haired girl.

Slowly, he began to tell his story.

'I was … I was in the common room and getting ready for my lessons. I put all my books in my bag and was about to go off to breakfast with it when I realised I'd left my quill in my room. When I came back, my whole bag was gone! I've already lost it once before and the professors got really angry at me and … and now …'

Lily could see a fresh batch of tears coming on and she really didn't need that. She had a muffin to be getting back to.

'No they won't, not if I have a word with Professor McGonagall and tell them to go easy on you, ok? Though I don't understand how you lost it …'

A flicker of something appeared in Patrick's eyes and he looked down, his pale face suddenly filling with colour.

Lily lifted his head with her finger.

'Is there something you're not telling me, Patrick?'

The boy sighed, his eyes welling up.

'I haven't told anyone …,' he whispered.

A sense of dread washed over her. Oh God, not …

'There are these … these boys …'

There it was.

'And they, they keep taking my stuff. I told them not to but … but they …'

Lily patted his arm gently and cooed, 'What did they do, Patrick?'

'They … punched me in the eye. I had a shiner for a whole two weeks!'

Lily's mouth fell open. That poor kid! Well, don't worry Patrick; Super Evans was now on the case!

'Now, listen to me, Patrick. I want you to do something for me. Keep your head high and ignore them. I know it's hard but you've got to be strong. Can you do that for me, Patrick?'

The boy nodded and as the pair stood up, the little brown-haired first year hugged her around the waist.

'Thank you … are you the Head Girl?'

Lily nodded and smiled down at him. It was amazing how much smaller they got every year.

'Will everything be ok now?'

Poor boy. She had been bullied briefly in her second year before she became popular and it had been the worse time of her life so she knew what Patrick was going through. What he needed was …

A flash of inspiration struck her.

'Wait here, Patrick, I've got something for you.'

Lily returned a couple of minutes later with a large, double chocolate muffin.

'Here. You need this more than I do. Nothing like a good muffin to make you feel better!'

And without warning, two small arms clasped around her waist once more. Lily patted his head.

'Now run along; it'll be ok now.'

Lily grinned to herself as she buttered a slice of warm toast. Somehow, at that moment, it was just as good as a double chocolate muffin.

Well, almost.

Lily felt eyes upon her and she turned to her left where, sure enough, a gawping idiot was indeed staring her into the ground.

'What is it, Potter? Can't a person eat a slice of toast in peace?'

But James simply smiled serenely at his love. He'd overheard Lily's recount of the tale of Patrick, that small brown-haired first year in Ravenclaw, to McGonagall and, if it were possible, he had fallen even deeper for that mystical, green-eyed girl.

Lily rolled her eyes. What a buffoon.

The day passed rather uneventfully after that. Each lesson dragged on for hours and there was always a pile of homework given to them at the end of it. Lily knew she was in for an all-night homework fest to clear the shed load the seventh years had received in the past few days and she couldn't wait.

That was sarcastic, if you hadn't guessed.

The end of the school day finally came to a close and as Lily walked back to the common room with her friends, she couldn't help but think of the muffin she had so desperately wanted that morning. She could really use a double chocolate pick-me-up right now …

Sighing she collapsed onto a sofa in the common room.

'Merlin, I'm exhausted,' yawned Lily to the slumped girl beside her.

'Today really went on and on, didn't it?' replied Alice, Lily's best friend in all the world, 'Can't wait till the Christmas holidays …Well,' she said, looking at her watch, 'Me and Sheila are going up to the dormitory to eat, drink and be merry; are you coming?'

Lily made a face. 'I'd love to but I've got so much work. My Head Girl duties have taken up so much of my time this week and now I'm completely overrun with essays and projects … ugh. You go and have fun though and I'll see you … tomorrow morning probably! That's how long this'll take me …'

Sheila patted her arm.

'Aw poor Lils! But it looks like Remus over there is also working way too hard so at least you'll have some company.'

Lily smiled and looked over at the other side of the room where, sure enough, the crouched figure of Remus Lupin was already furiously writing away.

'I'll see you guys later. Bye!' Lily watched them walk back to their dormitory giggling like two schoolgirls (which I suppose they were), her heart heavy. She may be a hard worker, but that wasn't to say she _liked _homework.

Slowly, Lily turned her bag upside down and saw the ridiculous amount of homework she had to face in the next 10 hours or so. Lily looked down at her lap where an essay title sprouted from the top of a, somewhat crumpled, piece of parchment.

'Uuuugghhhhhh,' moaned Lily which made Remus jump from across the room. What Lily needed right now was one sumptuous double chocolate muffin and if she didn't get one soon, she felt she might explode.

Or not do any homework, either one really.

"Ok, I'll just quickly go down to the kitchens, grab a muffin, and head back up to the common room to do my work," Lily said to herself, despite her being half-way there already and following her feet aimlessly.

Lily reached the corridor where the kitchens lay behind and tickled the pear in the portrait that hung on the stone wall; something she had overheard from those stupid Marauders. So they could be useful after all … though Lily would never admit it aloud.

She walked in and the smells hit her straight away.

It was like being in Heaven for the senses: home-made bread fresh out of the oven, various vegetables sizzling on a hob and best of all, the gorgeous smell of chocolate cake … Lily could stay in there forever.

But no, unfortunately she had to be getting on with that mountain of work. She would ask for a muffin and go before she was tempted into staying here all night.

One house-elf had noticed her arrival and started tugging on her robes by her ankles.

'Is there anything Naboo can get Miss?'

Lily smiled, eager anticipation evident in her expression and replied, 'Oh yes please … would you mind making me a double chocolate muffin?'

The house-elf bowed.

'Of course, Miss, it'll be done straight away!'

He scuttled off and only a few seconds later, the rich aroma of chocolate filled her with glee.

'Thank you so much, Naboo! I'll see you soon!'

'Take care, Miss!'

Lily almost skipped back to the common room, her muffin gently wrapped in a white napkin, the remaining students in the corridors glaring with envy at her treat.

Opening the portrait hole, she sunk back down on the sofa where her work was splayed all around and sat her muffin neatly on the table in front of her. She was looking forward to that.

Lily glanced over at Remus who was still buried in his work. She didn't like to disturb him but she really needed to find out what exactly Professor Saunders wanted for this essay. He wasn't exactly the most specific of people. She would eat the muffin whilst attacking the dreaded Arithmancy homework; it'd give her the much needed energy to get through one of Saunders' essays.

'Remus, sorry to disturb you, but can I ask you a quick question about Professor Saunders' essay?'

Remus turned around from his armchair and smiled warmly at her. She had always liked him best of the Marauders. Then again, the other three didn't really give him much competition …

'Yeah, sure, Lily, go ahead.'

While she asked Remus what on earth she was going to write about, something brushed her arm but she assumed it was a fly or something and took no notice of it.

'Thanks, Remus! That helps a lot.'

Returning to her study area, she sat down in the only space where her work was not covering the fabric and reached for her muffin. However, a problem shortly arose.

The muffin was gone.

Lily froze staring at the pile of crumbs left on the table where a double chocolate muffin awaited her not two minutes ago.

'Where. Is. My. Muffin?' she whispered quietly. Remus turned around in his armchair, his eyes widening at the sight of the now very angry Lily Evans.

'WHERE IS MY MUFFIN?!?'

Remus tried not to laugh and slid back down in his chair so not to provoke the wrath of Miss Evans any further.

"Someone must have taken it while I was talking to Remus," Lily pondered, a frown creasing her forehead, "Why that good-for-nothing, son of a … wait, wait, calm down Lily, it can't have gone too far. And whoever stole it can't have eaten it yet. Come on, girl, we've got some sleuthing to do!"

And with a, frankly quite menacing, grin of glee Lily stood up sharply leaving her homework firmly in her wake.

"Work should never be done without a muffin," Lily reassured herself as she began to hunt for the treat. On her hands and knees, and Remus watching bemusedly, she scoured the floor for anything, a clue, a …

"A CRUMB!" Lily hollered as Remus winced at the sheer volume of the flame-haired girl's cry. Still on her hands and knees, she crawled further around the common room and soon enough, she came upon another crumb, and another, and another …

"At last!" Lily thought, sitting up with her collection of dark crumbs in one hand, "A trail!" Lily looked at where she was now sitting. The boys' dormitories were directly in front of her.

"Aha! So someone DID steal it!" she thought.

'How on earth did they get down here and steal my muffin without me noticing them though?' Lily muttered to herself as she continued to follow the trail up the stairs of the boys' dormitories.

Remus heard this and smiled mischievously. He thought he knew how a certain admirer of a certain muffin lover might have done it …

Lily continued to make her way up the various floors of the boys' sleeping quarters until she reached the very top where the trail came to a halt, right in front of the door to the seventh years' room. Lily's face clouded over as she realised who might have stolen her precious muffin.

Kicking the door open and with a face that would have scared not only children but most adults, Lily stomped into the room where Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black were laughing hysterically, rolling around on the floor like two complete prats. There was no sign of her muffin anywhere. But where was the main suspect, where was …

'AGH!' Lily screamed as James' head floated in front of her and winked cheekily at her. Suddenly, his body was also revealed; in one hand was an invisibility cloak, causing Lily to gasp in astonishment. How on earth did he get one of those? They're so rare and valuable … However when she saw what was in James' other hand …

'JAMES POTTER YOU HAVE EATEN HALF OF MY MUFFIN!'

'Oh, yeah, sorry about that. I was hungry and …' Thump! How unfortunate to be on the receiving end of one of Lily Evans' punches.

Lily stormed out of the room leaving Peter and Sirius in fits of giggles and James looking wounded and very regretful. She stomped down the stairs with all the grace of a rhino and into her own dormitory on the other side of the room, forgetting all about the piles of work left alone on the sofa.

Remus shook his head and chuckled to himself. She would come round soon enough.

James walked slowly down the stairs, his shoulders hunched and his hand covering his eye where he knew he'd have a shiner in the morning. By Merlin, that girl had one hell of a punch.

'Remus …' James began but Remus shook his head.

'I don't want anything to do with it.'

James sighed again and began desperately trying to run up the stairs to the girls' dormitories before they turned into a slide. After the fiftieth go, James stormed out of the common room with a scowl on his face to rival Lily's, leaving Remus alone (at last) to work through the night as he had planned.

'HEY, MOONY! Peter's fallen asleep so I thought you'd keep me company instead!' A familiar voice shouted from the top of the stairway to the boys' dormitories, disturbing the few seconds of peace Remus had to himself. In no time at all, the werewolf was joined by a grinning Sirius Black who had perched himself on the arm of Remus' chair.

'Look, Padfoot, as much as I enjoy your company, I really need to get this work done. As it's already midnight and I've only done an inch of this 12 inch essay for tomorrow due to certain events concerning muffins, I'd appreciate it if you …'

Sirius simply smiled again and put a finger to Remus' lips, effectively stopping the werewolf from speaking any further.

'You talk way too much, Moony, you know that?'

Remus merely smiled thinly at the shaggy-haired boy before attempting to write Professor Saunders' essay once more. However, although Sirius was thankfully not talking anymore and simply humming to himself most serenely, Remus somehow found this, and the fact that Sirius had just made him quiver with a simple touch, so much more distracting than the hollering of Lily Evans.

Which was very distracting, I can tell you.

Remus turned to tell Sirius to piss off but Sirius had too faced Remus, whether to talk to the sandy-haired boy or to stare at him – Remus hoped it was the latter – he wasn't sure but suddenly the two boys were staring into each others' eyes.

Remus thought he had died and gone to heaven. He had been harbouring a secret crush on his best friend for so many years now but never had he been able to look so intensely into his love's beautiful, stormy grey eyes. Oh, how he could drown in those orbs …

'Remus,' muttered Sirius, the gap closing between the boys at every instance.

'Yes?'

'What are we doing?' He asked before the gap was finally, blissfully, closed.

Remus moaned into Sirius' mouth as the dark haired boy kissed Remus as if he would never see the werewolf again. As Sirius' tongue asked for entrance, it was immediately and gratefully received and a violent game of tonsil tennis commenced. Remus' hands were entwined in Sirius' silky locks and the heartthrob's own hands were creeping down, down, down towards Remus' firm arse …

Reluctantly, the two boys broke apart, breathing furiously and still staring into each others' eyes.

'I've loved you for so long, Padfoot,' Remus said into Sirius' shoulder as they embraced in the armchair, their limbs entwined in the confined space.

'I know, Moony, oh my Moony, I know. And I love you too.'

Smiling goofily, they walked hand in hand up to their dormitory where they crawled into Sirius' bed and drew the curtains, grateful for the fact that Peter was a deep sleeper.

On the other side of the tower, Lily Evans couldn't sleep. For an hour now she had tossed and turned constantly, thinking of that perfect muffin and how that stupid bastard had eaten it …

She looked at her watch. 1am. Sighing and reaching for her dressing gown, Lily made her way into the common room, glad to see she was the only one still awake. Even poor old Remus had gone to sleep. Must have been too tired to work all night.

Slowly, she made her way over to the window seat and watched the eerie moonlight dancing on the surface of the lake. She had really wanted that muffin. Why did that prat have to eat it? He knows how she adores the double chocolate ones …

The door creaked open and she looked behind her to see a weary looking James enter the common room. Lily turned back to the window, muttering 'Typical' under her breath.

James saw her by the window, her face bathed in moonlight and it seemed his heart had stopped. Her red, red hair was cascading down her back like a fiery waterfall and she was wearing a white, fluffy dressing gown making her look like an angel … I think it was safe to say that James Potter was totally smitten.

Acting on reckless impulse, he made his way over to the large window seat and sat down beside her, not looking at her but occasionally catching glimpses of her sparkling green eyes out of the corner of his eye.

Lily looked at him and frowned. Merlin, he was so infuriating. Why did he have to come and sit next to her? Didn't he realise how angry she was with him?

'Lily,' James began, his voice slightly hoarse with emotion, Lily realised with bewilderment, 'I'm so, so sorry. Not just for eating your muffin - which was really stupid I must admit since I know how much you love them - but for acting like a complete git these past six years; for pestering you when you obviously loathe me; for pranking people who didn't deserve it; for acting like I owned the world.

'I just loved you – and still love you – so much, Lily. Words can't describe how much I adore you. I think about you constantly. I guess the only reason I wind you up so much is that I know … I know I'll at least get to talk to you. I'm really sorry, Lily. For everything.'

Lily looked at him again. Really looked at him. And she finally saw it. The love, the devotion, the commitment to her was so evident on his face, in his eyes that she wondered how she had never seen it before. Those little things that used to infuriate her, running his hands through his hair for example, she realised it was all for her. Just for her.

He looked away and stared out at the lake again. Lily couldn't help but think he looked impossibly adorable under the glow of the moonlight. It made him look almost superhuman … incredible. She had always known he was good-looking but since when had he become so … so sexy!?

"What? Where did that come from? SEXY? JAMES POTTER? Have you gone INSANE, LILY? She thought to herself as she hastily looked away from his face, which looked so soft …

"NO! Stop it! But he does look genuinely sorry … Maybe I should give him a break. And he _did _say he loves me … I mean, everyone deserves a second chance. And he's changed this year … I didn't want to believe it until now but he has. He's become, dare I say it, a _nice _human being instead of a great, big prat. And not just a nice guy but an unbelievably attractive … Oh Merlin," Lily thought suddenly, "I fancy James Potter!"

'James,' she said suddenly, surprising both him and her. However, Lily didn't know what else to say and simply moved closer to him and looked him up and down. Lily had never realised he was so … muscular. Suddenly, without really knowing what she was doing, Lily stroked his arm. His skin _was _as soft as she had imagined. Softer even.

He looked down at her small hand brushing his arm and then stared once more into her eyes, a confused expression etched onto his face making him look even cuter, Lily thought.

'Lily,' James said, stammering a bit and a blush appearing on his cheeks, 'You … Do you forgive me?'

Lily smiled warmly at him and nodded.

'It's not you who should be sorry, James. I was stupid to get so upset over a _muffin_, for Merlin's sake, which I could get from the kitchens any time. I don't think I was angry at you because of that anyway. I think … to be honest, I think I was just angry at myself for falling for you,' James' eyes widened at this and the beginnings of a grin were playing on his lips,

'I didn't want to fall for you, you see, because you were my sworn enemy who I could never fancy. But although I never admitted it to myself, I still liked you even when you were a prat. I loved the way who pranked other people, I loved the way who ruffled your hair, I loved the way you laughed when you were with your friends and I loved the way … you loved me. I even loved the way you ate my muffin because that was such a James-like thing to do …'

By now James' grin was fully fledged and Lily thought she had never seen a wider smile.

'Oh Lily, what am I going to do with you?'

Lily smirked.

'I can think of one thing …'

And with that, James scooped her up in his arms and they kissed under the pale glow that streamed in from the window, the moonlight bathing them in an ethereal light. Their tongues entwined as they kissed fervently and passionately, years of pent up rage and lust released in one breathtaking kiss, both wishing that this feeling would last forever.

James pulled away gently and Lily settled in the crook of his neck, smiling into his skin.

'Lily, I've got something for you,' James said while caressing her head softly and from behind his back, he pulled a double chocolate muffin and showed it to his new girlfriend.

And suddenly, in that moment, Lily realised something: she didn't just fancy James Potter; she _loved _him and always had done.

'I got it from the kitchens when you stormed off and thought you might – mpf!'

James was silenced by a firm kiss upon his lips. I don't think he minded too much though.

The muffin fell to the floor, quickly forgotten. Lily didn't care. She had something new to love now.

**Maybe it's not all about the muffins after all.**

**The End**

A/N: Did anyone get the Mighty Boosh reference:) Hope you liked it and please review because I never get very many and I'd really love some! I know it has some faults but eh, I like it anyway:D So click that beautiful purple button below:) OpalTears xxx


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